Tag Archive | friendship

2013 Book #9 – The Iron Locket, by Samantha Warren

I’m going to start out this Book Report by admitting that I’m biased. Samantha Warren is a good friend of mine. We met through writing, but I consider her more than just a writing buddy now. She’s been there for me professionally and personally several times when I’ve needed her. So when she ran into a spot of bother and lost her editor for The Iron Locket, I offered to beta-read it and to give her some developmental edits.

So yes, I’m biased and The Iron Locket that I read is not the final version that will be available for you to buy as an eBook in a couple of weeks. But let me tell you, this is a rollicking good story!

In a nutshell, when the faerie kingdom and human kingdom are both threatened with annihilation by the evil faerie enchantress, Leanansidhe, the four faerie queens must resurrect a human hero, the Once and Future King, Arthur, to lead them in opposing her. But when a human faerie-hunter, last in a great line, Aiofe, stumbles into the faerie kingdom at war, the attraction that sparks between her and Arthur will either give the side of good an edge in winning the war or put everyone in dire jeopardy. Because Aiofe is no simple hunter. She hides a secret that could make or break all of faerie-kind and tear down the divide between the faerie and human worlds.

That’s what Samantha is going for. I have to say, I really enjoyed helping her edit this book. It’s a cool story, but as I worked with her, giving suggestions, asking questions, sharing the things I’ve learned about the craft of writing, I discovered that I really love editing! There’s something so special about taking a book in its embryotic form and working with the author to bring it to the world in the best form possible.

It’s also interesting to see the things that other authors do that I know I do. I don’t know if Sam wanted to throttle me through the process or not for lecturing her about paragraph breaks and cutting exposition and turning it into dialog, but those are all things I’ve had to struggle with myself. It’s nice to know I’m not alone! And I hope from her end that it’s nice to have someone who has the same issues point things out to you so that they can be fixed.

Early drafts of books are tricky, slippery things. You can see the gold through the rock, but it takes a lot of chipping away to get to them. I love working with an editor so that I can have someone point and tell me where to chip. And I discovered that I like being that impartial set of eyes to point to things with suggestions of how to bring out the gold. (So if you need a developmental editor, drop me a line! No, seriously!)

Back to The Iron Locket.

This book has a lot of things going for it. I love the combination of well-known elements, like King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, with a wholly unique faerie world. Sam has done a great job of building a world that I want to know more about. It has depth and teeth. The main players in the faerie kingdom have strong identities and feeling.

One of the best things I found about this book, something I’m not sure if Sam intended or not, was how cool the baddies were. The character of Kane turned out to be one of my favorites. Is he the evil Leanansidhe’s soulless henchman or is he something more? And yes, I say that while wiggling my eyebrows a lot. Even Lea has her “charms”. I asked Sam a lot of questions about her motivations and background and I can’t wait to read the answers she comes up with in the final version.

The heroes of the novel are a lot of fun too. I like Sam’s take on Arthur, especially since he is resurrected from the dead with all his baggage intact. And the heroine, Aiofe, has such a rich depth of background to draw from. I’m interested to see where she’s going, both in the final version of this book and in the other books in the series.

All in all, I recommend that you give this one a read as soon as it comes out. Am I biased? Yepper! Is it still a good story? Absolutely.

The Importance of Bliss

Mar11

I love cricket! And cricket season in the US is almost here! In fact, my cricket team, British Officer’s Cricket Club, held its annual Curry Dinner and Ridiculous Raffle/Auction on Saturday night as a warm-up to the season! It was fantastic to see all of my cricket guys and their wives and families again. I always miss them in the winter. But never fear, cricket is almost here!

For those of you who haven’t heard me talk about cricket before (there are probably two of you left out there), I am a scorer for a local club team, BOCC, here in Philadelphia. We have a thriving cricket community made up mostly of ex-pats from South Asia, Australia & New Zealand, and the UK. Oh, and we have a few token Americans on our team. I stumbled across cricket a few years ago by way of Bollywood, and it was love at first sight. Now I’m inches away from becoming an officially certified scorer, and my club president last night was encouraging me to become an umpire.

Seems a bit incongruous for an ordinary American girl to be so interested in cricket, doesn’t it. And yes, it’s delightfully unlikely. But cricket fills a place in my soul that I didn’t even know existed or was missing anything a few years ago. It’s fun, it’s exciting, and it’s led me to form some fantastic friendships. In fact, I feel like I could depend on my cricket team members to help me out in a pinch more than some family members! Who would have thought?

Yes, for me cricket is bliss. And everyone needs some bliss. But bliss is tricky. It seems like it should be obvious when really it’s elusive. I think there are a lot of people out there in the world who are searching for something, some kind of fulfillment or validation. Maybe they’re just looking for something to do on the weekends or for someone to go out to the pub with on a Saturday night.

Then again, I see a lot of people who find that kind of bliss and fulfillment in their families. I know so many women around my age, give or take a decade, who are in love with their families. They talk about their kids, their husband, their siblings, their dogs, all the time and with a glow in their eyes that makes them beautiful. They find such selfless happiness in these things that it elevates them, body and soul.

But not everyone has the luxury of a healthy marriage or a tight-knit family. And I’m not saying that bliss comes exclusively with the people you share a roof or a name with, just that I see a lot of people who find bliss there.

Me and some of my cricket buddies when we were on tour in the UK

What really makes me happy is when I see people who have gone out there and found their bliss in an unlikely place. I have a friend who is in a similar situation to mine in that she is not married and doesn’t have a lot of close family who has found her bliss in martial arts. How cool is that? She has found an activity she enjoys with people she feels close to, and she has welcomed that bliss into her life with full enthusiasm. You can see the sparkle in her eyes when she talks about it, and it’s awesome!

Bliss is so important! Without it, what do you have? Reality TV?

Actually, I’m kind of not kidding about that. I think it’s safe to say that I fall into the category of people who believes that TV is the drug of the masses. From my point of view, it is a pale imitation of the enjoyment that can be found in getting out there and finding your bliss. Bliss is active, it involves you, it keeps you alive. TV asks nothing more from you than your butt on a couch and your brain on cruise control.

Which life sounds more interesting? A life of bliss, of course! Getting up, going out, and giving your whole heart to something is absolutely the way to go. Is it easy? Not necessarily. It’s a big stretch for me to give up one entire day per weekend in the summer to go to cricket. Time is valuable in this modern world. Is it cheap? Some people’s bliss might be, but cricket, even for me as a scorer, comes with a price tag. One I struggle to afford sometimes. Is it fun? Absolutely! And I’ve made friends that I hope to keep for life.

So what’s your bliss? What gets your heart pumping and your spirits soaring? What do you look forward to in the off-season?

And once you’ve answered that question, get up, get out there, and do it!

2013 Book #5 – Post Captain, by Patrick O’Brian

Feb4

Well, the bromance honeymoon is over. The niceties wore off, the insults started flying, and one even challenged the other to a duel. And what could possibly come between BFFs Captain Jack Aubrey and Dr. Stephen Maturin? You guessed it. Women.

The whole point of why I started to read religiously this year – other than the fact that Stephen King told me to – is because I believe that every book I read can teach me something about the art and craft of writing. Of course, I went into Post Captain a little bit concerned that the second book in a series of twenty wouldn’t have much to teach and that the best it could offer would be the continuation of the story of the characters I love.

Okay, I was wrong. There was a lot to learn in this book.

Post Captain picks up immediately after Master and Commander ends. Jack is without a ship and due to personal politics, he hasn’t been made post captain. If you’re not post captain you might as well pack up and go home. The overwhelming goal of this book is for Jack to be made post captain and get a ship.

Of course, for the first quarter of the book he and Stephen are stuck on land. Jack doesn’t do very well on land, as evidenced by him falling off his horse repeatedly while attempting to go fox hunting. But he has some money and rents out a nice house, and of course he’s got Stephen. And then they meet Miss Sophia Williams and Mrs. Diana Villiers, who is widowed. The hunt is on!

I’ve heard Patrick O’Brian described as “Jane Austen for men”. Yep. He writes intricate social relationships with the same finesse and attention to detail, but he does it with a masculine pragmatism. Jane Austen concerns herself with the machinations of the human heart. Patrick O’Brian sees those same machinations from the point of view of another, lower organ unique to male-kind. Jane’s ladies might know which respectable society ladies would make good wives, but Patrick’s men are far more interested in which ladies might be game for something more.

Throughout this entire book one question stayed at the forefront of my mind, driving me on to untangle the answer: Are Jack and Stephen sleeping with the same woman? Honestly, I’m not so sure. At one point I swore they were. Later in the book I was certain it was just Stephen and Jack was all talk. Later still I was of the opinion that neither of them were actually sleeping with her. Then finally I came to the conclusion that yes, in fact, they were both nailing her … and they weren’t the only ones.

It was a beautiful moment when Jack finally, slowly, ponderously, came to realize that he didn’t actually love the easy (*cough*slutty*cough*) target of Diana, but rather, he loved the honest, straightforward, faithful Sophia and wanted to marry her. Too bad for him that by the time he came around he was £11,000+ in debt and in danger of being carted off to debtor’s prison every moment he set foot on land! (And I happen to agree with Stephen’s sentiment that though he may swear undying love and fidelity, Jack isn’t cut out for celibacy.)

The key thing that I learned from Post Captain was the importance of The Burning Question. The plot of the book surrounded whether or not Jack would ever get a ship again (he did, and it was a piece of crap) or whether he would be made post captain. It also followed the course of Stephen’s missions as a spy and whether he would ever tell Jack the truth. But what really kept me turning pages was the immense personal tension between the two main characters, embodied in the questions “Are Jack and Stephen sleeping with the same woman?” and “Dammit, are they ever just going to talk about it and clear the air?”

Incidentally, Jack did try to bring it out in the open about two-thirds of the way through the book and the conversation resulted in Stephen blowing up and challenging him to a duel. Fortunately, the duel was never fought.

It’s funny how this bromance has so much to say about how to write Romance. Plot aside, the tension in this book was fantastic. Like any romantic couple, even though I knew the relationship must go on (there are 18 more books in the series, after all), I was constantly on the edge of my seat wondering if the friendship would be able to survive hurt feelings and personal betrayal. It was the ultimate “will they or won’t they?”

Novels need tension. They need that burning question that the reader reads on well past their bedtime to find the answer to. Jack and Stephen were like flipping magnets throughout this entire book. One minute they would be drawn together irresistibly to the point where I couldn’t imagine one being able to function without the other, and the next they would have opposite polarity, stuck together but opposing each other at all times. It was really cool, actually.

In the end these two men need each other in order to survive. Without Stephen, Jack would probably end up in debtor’s prison, disgraced and transported to Australia. Without Jack, Stephen would probably overdose on laudanum in a fit of melancholy. Bromance at its finest.

And now, on to something different. I think it’s time for something light and contemporary.

Coming Out

Jan18

I didn’t watch the Golden Globes on Sunday, but I read all about Jodie Foster’s “coming-out” speech the next day. And of course I thought to myself, “So? Big deal. Didn’t we all already know that?” Then, a couple days later, the indomitable George Takei posted a blog about why it actually is a big deal.

I’ll let you read his heart-felt words about why it matters, still, today, when celebrities come out and how that affects young people in and out of the closet who are scared of what will become of them if they do come out. George’s words definitely gave me a different perspective on things.

The fact is, whether or not someone is gay or straight ceased to matter to me personally many, many years ago. I remember the exact moment when my opinions about sexuality changed. And yes, it changed in a flash, in one single moment. I was raised in a conservative, religious community where (at that time) it was definitely not okay to be gay. Granted, I didn’t know at that point that one of my closest high school friends was gay either. But then I moved to Florida for two years of college.

I had a good friend, Sonia, who I worked with at an after-school job. I really liked Sonia. She was funny and quirky and we had a similar sense of humor. We were both a little awkward around other people and I could sense that there was something deeply painful underneath the surface of Sonia’s world. I visited her house, met some of her family, and listened while she told me about some of the trauma and trials that her family had gone through. She was the closest friend I had during that time of my life.

Then one day we were working a shift together and I’m sure I said something narrow-minded about sexuality (although I don’t remember what). I don’t remember the conversation, but I remember Sonia saying to me, quite frankly, “Well, what would you say if I told you I was a lesbian?”

Ever have one of those moments where time stops and you have a long string of thoughts within the space of a second? This was one of those moments. Within the space of half a second all of the following thoughts ran through my head: “I’ve always been told being gay is wrong. But there’s nothing wrong about Sonia. She’s a wonderful person and a good friend. But she’s a lesbian, which can’t be right if everything I was told growing up was true. But everything I was told can’t be true, because if there’s one thing I know for certain it’s that Sonia is a great person. She’s my friend.” Seriously, all of that in half a second.

And then I said aloud the distillation of everything that had just run through my head: “You’re still Sonia. You’re still my friend.” I think I might have actually shrugged and gone on doing my job.

I consider that one of the most important moments of my life. It was vital because in that moment I realized that nothing had changed. Sonia didn’t suddenly become a monster or a horrible person or the anathema of all I believed in. She was still Sonia, my friend. From that moment on my opinion on sexuality had been irrevocably changed. It didn’t matter.

I think this moment was also important to me because Sonia and I continued to be friends and she talked to me about her sexuality. I learned a lot. I learned that just because she liked women didn’t mean she wanted to sleep with me. I wonder sometimes if that’s the fear that a lot of people have when they learn a friend or same-sex acquaintance is gay. But that doesn’t make any more sense than the belief that every one of your opposite-sex friends or acquaintances wants to sleep with you all the time.

Of course, since that pivotal moment with Sonia I’ve had many more gay friends. Not to mention learning that someone I’d known and loved for years was gay. I’ve often wondered if there was more I could have done for him when we were in school, if he was struggling but afraid to reach out, and if I would have known how to handle it at that point in my life. I don’t know. I’m just glad that we’re good friends now.

So I don’t know. Maybe George Takei has a point and it is a very big deal still when a celebrity comes out. I can understand how important it must be to someone facing the same situation. But for someone like me, someone on the other end of the whole coming-out process, the one who gets come out to, I don’t think it is or even should be a big deal. It doesn’t change who that person is. It most certainly shouldn’t affect how I feel about them in the least. Who they – whoever they are – feel pulled to fall in love or lust with is no more my business than it is anyone else’s business who I take a fancy to. My business is to love people for the essence of who they are in their heart of hearts.

I’m sad to say that I lost touch with Sonia when I moved away from Florida (in 1996!). I have her birthday written on my calendar still though and I think of her at least once a year because of it. I sincerely hope that her life has been full of joy and promise. And I hope we meet again someday, if not here, then in the great beyond.

My Wedding Speech

Jan4

When my wonderful brother Stewart married my best friend Kristine last Saturday, December 29th, I was privileged to be the Maid of Honor. As the Maid of Honor – not to mention the groom’s sister – I got to give a speech at the reception. A lot of people came up to me afterwards and said it was a beautiful speech. I am so flattered by that praise! Although honestly, I was so keyed-up, overwhelmed, and exhausted at the time that it was all a blur to me.

So since I received so much praise for speaking the truth, and since there were a lot of people who weren’t at the reception, here’s as close an approximation to my reception speech as I can write, complete with the two things I wanted to say but forgot to in the moment…..

Me and Kristine

This is a story of Divine Providence. Yes, Divine Providence. For why else would a Pennsylvanian with a master’s degree in Theater from Villanova University decide to go to cosmetology school in Huntsville, Alabama? But that’s where Kristine and I met, in cosmetology school in Alabama. We became friends and ended up going to work at the same salon (eventually) when we graduated.

I also bought a house in Huntsville, and when I did I asked if Kristine wanted to move in and rent a room with me. She did, and our friendship got stronger. Except when things like The Potato Incident happened. After that we almost weren’t friends anymore. I’ll tell you about it sometime if you ask. But even then, potatoes and all, I knew that Kristine was the sister I never had.

After a while Kristine told me that she wanted to go to college, but since she was home-schooled she wasn’t sure she could. I told her, “Hey! I know this great college in Philadelphia, Bryn Athyn College, that is fantastic with home-schooled kids.” She applied, thinking that she’d never get in. But lo and behold, she did!

It was then that I realized that I didn’t want to stay in Alabama without Kristine. If she was going to Bryn Athyn, then I wanted to go home too. So we packed up the house and moved up HOME.

Again, Providence came into play. It was great to be home, but I’m a morning person. I wake up early and I go to bed early. But Kristine is a night person. She likes to stay up and go out. But she didn’t know anyone up here that summer. School hadn’t started and she hadn’t made any friends yet. The only person she knew besides me was my brother, Stewart. So Stewart asked her, “Well, do you want to come hang out with my friends?” And that was how it all began.

Stewart and Kristine were just friends at this point. In fact, when I directed them in Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead many years ago and they played Hamlet and Ophelia, people kept asking if they were going out. Kristine’s response to that was “Eew! No! That would be like dating Merry!” Yep, everyone else always knows before the happy couple figures it out.

Then one day Kristine came to me and said, “Merry, I have something to tell you and I don’t think you’re going to like it.” “Oh?” I asked. “What’s that?” And she told me, “Stewart and I are kind of dating now.” And I was upset! No, really I was! Because what would happen if they broke up? Who was I supposed to side with, the boy who broke my best friend’s heart or the girl who broke my brother’s heart?

Fortunately, they did the only sensible thing they could do and got married.

[and then I transitioned into giving a “sister of the groom” speech ]

Stewart and I have been through a lot together. A LOT. We’ve lost a lot of people from our life. Most special of those people was our mom. A lot of people here [at the reception] knew our mom and how wonderful she was. She raised the two of us pretty much on her own. People also know that our mom was a quilter. She made the most beautiful quilts!

What people might not know is that Kristine’s mom, Jodi, is also a quilter.

One of the things I inherited from my mom was a big chest in which she kept all of our school projects and mementos and her quilting projects. What people don’t know is that before she passed away, Mom finished piecing together a quilt top. But then she put it away because she knew she would never be able to finish it and quilt it and put the binding on and all that.

So when Stewart and Kristine got engaged, one of the very first things I did was to call Jodi and ask her if she would be willing to finish the quilt. Well, she said yes.

So at the rehearsal dinner Jodi and I presented Stewart and Kristine with this beautiful quilt, made by both of their mothers together, even though they never met.

I ended my speech there, but there was one other thing that I wanted to say but forgot to:

Okay, Stewart. I found you the perfect wife. So now it’s your turn. You’ve got to go out there and find me the perfect husband! So get on it!

Congratulations to Stewart and Kristine, the two people who I love most in my life. May every happiness come their way!